Now, I know this is Haggis’ field of ‘expertise’ and that he’ll probably do a response review, but I don’t care. I’m reviewing life.
Life. DON’T TALK TO ME ABOUT LIFE. Life right now, sucks. I’m, a professional cynic and yes, my heart IS in it. You know why? Because cynicism is the best way to be. When you’re cynical, life won’t disappoint you! As a good friend recently told me, ‘Expect shit, because when it does come, you’re not gonna be caught out!’
So why does life suck? Multiple reasons. Why is life good? Some more good reasons.
-Cheese shortages in The Middle East
-Wars still dominate the popular news channels
-Comedy has taken an all new approach to being shitty
-Saturday’s Dr Who was terrible.
-College starts again soon!
-I have lots of cheese
-It looks as though a local revolution has been staved off for a while
-At least Dr Who is back…
Now, I know this seems a bit depressing and disjointed and various other words beginning with d, but you know what? THAT’S WHAT LIFE IS! Life is depressing. Life is disappointing. Life is a dick. Life life, life, etc, etc etc…
There are TWO cures for this. ONE – maintain a VERY positive outlook on life and pretend to be happy. TWO – Grab a few beers, get drunk and enjoy your favorite tunage. Heck. That’s what I’m doing RIGHT NOW. Cheered me up. Now it’s your turn! (Drink responsibly!)
This is That Guy, telling you, drunken singing is fun. YOU’LL LOVE IT!
(PS. I may have made up the stuff about cheese in The Middle East, but I’m not sure, so I’ll leave it there! I like cheese!)