Oh Jesus this was hard. I mean lists usually take planning but I have planned this one since I started reviewing the films which seems like a good few weeks ago and I’ve only just decided. Believe me this is close. Really, REALLY CLOSE. Please bear in mind that these are not only my views and therefore completly subjective but are also liable to change. Believe me my favourite Bond has changed A LOT and I do like 4/6 of the actors a lot regardless, this is just my attempt to order them…somehow…. Anywho enjoy…and try not to hate me too much…
006) George Lazenby
Yeah I bet you already knew this one. I actually feel a little sorry for Lazenby. He had little to no acting experience, with only a freaking Hershey advert under his belt, and yet we find him playing one of the greatest fictional characters of all time. What makes things worse is that he’s following on from Sean ‘THUNDERVOICE’ Connery of the clan Badass AND he’s in one of the most important films of the franchise when it comes to story telling. This poor guy had A LOT of responsibility. In fact he may have had something of a chance, even just a little bit, had the writers been over Sean. Seriously listen to some of the quips and the you’ll see that they fit better with Connery than Lazenby. The writers aren’t over him. Hell they’re struggling to write for the new guy because of it! Hell the poor guy’s name has become a term for a character who is not as memorable as his others, you really can’t help but feel bad for him. With all this said it’s not as if Lazenby is the worlds worst actor. In fact he went on to do such classics as…a handfull of roles in Tv…Oh and some Hong Kong films but Bruce Lee died before things could really take off…..Oh and some Malboro Commercials…err….
005) Daniel Craig
Ok will all the middle-aged women with a thing for Craig please leave now? Hell who am I kidding we don’t get any middle-aged readers…Hell we don’t get any women readers…God I’m lonely…What? Oh yeah… Any who Daniel Craig. I just don’t like him as Bond. Frankly I think he’s a bit bland and to be perfectly honest there are other critics who agree with me. His other roles generally have him quite blandy and he brings this into his role as Bond far too easily. I do like that the writers are doing darker things with the series and Craig does seem alright at that but most of its him being a cold-hearted killer. Her’s the flaw with this. If this were any other Bond film then that would be excusable but this is Casino Royale, the very beginning of Bond becoming who he is. Surely he would become cold-hearted after the whole Vesper incident?? He’s physically fit I’ll give him that but I think he lacks the badassery that Connery had or the witty, campness that Moore perfected. He has little character other than trying to be dark/cold/emotionally detached. Furthermore he’s not as attractive as some of the other Bonds, belive me I’m not an expert at this sort of thing…more an enthusiastic amateur but I digress. He’s not hideous but still the other Bonds have something above him, even Lazenby had a personality. Now to be fair Craig does have a Bondy build and the stunt work, which I believe is his own, is fantastic so he does deserve credit for that. Well done Craig, you can jump around on a crane a bit but you have little charm and all the personality of a comatosed slice of bacon.
004) Roger Moore
Now things get difficult. Moore may well be the punniest *silent giggle followed by feelings of immense shame* of the Bonds. He is just walking wit and double entendre rolled into one. I think he is one of the most charming of the Bonds and has possibly the best films of the group (though I am not basing my decisions on the films). This isn’t to say he can’t be serious, God knows he can. We’ve seen this in most of the films for example For Your Eyes only and A View to a Kill. Why then is he fourth on this list??? Well frankly I feel that the emphasis is on two things, one far more influential than the other. Firstly the action scenes. Not that Moore looks weak or a anything because he doesn’t, it’s just that he doesn’t look able to kick tonnes of ass that easily. This, however is a very, VERY minor point and only really becomes annoying later on in Octopussy and A View to a Kill where Moore’s pushing 50. Hell in a View to a Kill he’s around 54. Secondly I think that with Moore, the emphasis is on the comedy. There are serious moments, of course there are but most of them involve him taking the moral high ground and looking charismatic. For me Bond should have a good balance of the two, one shouldn’t be above the other, in fact maybe seriousness should come above comedy. Moore, I love you and this is almost certainly the fault of the writers but I’m afraid it’s not to be. If you’re reading this, who am I kidding of course you’re reading this, then I am truly and humbly sorry.
003) Pierce Brosnan
At this moment you may want to take the time to write your death threats and hell if you have the money why not go the whole hog and hire an assassin? Brosnan seems to be perfect doesn’t he? He seems to be charismatic, funny, punny, physically able and handsome enough to boot. Why don’t I like him then. Well don’t get me wrong I like him and he’s a good actor. There are times when he can seem a little bland but this is due to the fact that he rarely smiles. Maybe this is good for Bond but frankly he needs some of Moore in him (Yes I know how that sounds, you can add that to your deathtreats too if you want). I don’t know, maybe it’s good character development if he doesn’t smile as much, it makes things more serious. The major reason why he doesn’t rank higher is like Moore. He looks older than Bond should be, at least for me anyway. Since Goldeneye there have been moments when I thought him too old, about 40ish. This is too old for a good, convincing Bond. It wouldn’t be so much of a problem if it weren’t so obvious. I mean watch a scene where Bond is injured, like when he falls from the antenna in Goldeneye or when Stampers beating him sh$tless in tomorrow Never Dies. He makes that noise, that gaspy/groaning noise that really makes him sound older. I mean, there’s still an element of toughness to it but even so. But by far the biggest indicates that Brosnan seems too old for Bond are the love scenes. I mean this mostly to The World is Not enough and the scenes with Christmas Jones. That scene just reminds me of those middle aged celebs who pick up younger women and highlights his age problem perfectly. Otherwise Brosnan is a damn fine Bond.
002) Sean Connery
Ok fuck assassins, God himself is about to strike me down. If it helps at all, this was the most difficult decision I had to make. I mean, this is Sean Connery for God’s sake! One of the greatest Badasses who has ever lived, his status as Scotland’s single most awesome export only increases with age. He has a voice that could make a 1950’s housewife orgasm with a single syllable. He is a fantastic actor, a brilliant action star, he was funny, he was serious, he was charming and he had sex appeal. His Bond movies rank among the best. Hell even when he left after You Only Live Twice the freaking writers couldn’t get over him and he was brought back for Diamonds Are Forever. He smiles more than Bronsan but is far more serious than Moore. He has more personality than Craig but not too much that he doesn’t become too emotionally involved. The writers obviously love him, hell, he is James Bond. Connery is the original thing. There is literally nothing wrong with him, he is flawless and yet not perfect. He is missing something though. Something only one other Bond seemed to have…God forgive me Sean, If you want to annihilate me with your supreme awesomeness then please wait until I’ve finished this list…Please??
001) Timothy Dalton
Yeah you know it by now. Timothy Dalton. Why is he my favourite Bond? Well lets start we the obvious stuff. He’s a great actor, he can be funny, he has scathing comebacks like you wouldn’t believe, he kicks ass, he’s pretty badass, he’s handsome, he smiles enough. This guy is perfect, but pray tell, why is he above Connery? Well I did say Connery was missing something. Dalton is dark and gritty and, although Connery has this it’s far from enough and Dalton is gritty incarnate. Now to be fair I think the storylines have a lot to do with this, Licence to Kill especially. Ask yourselves, which Bond could you imagine setting fire to someone? Moore? Connery? Brosnan? Hell Craig would but that’s because your setting his character at a point where it fits perfectly with his development to do so. Dalton is pretty much the only Bond who could do something like this. He has a pretty sharp with as well although it’s mostly scathingly brutal but to be honest I think it fits well and is done brilliantly. Dalton takes the flaws of the other Bonds and he fixes them. He can act. has a personality, balances humour and seriousness well, doesn’t look too old and is dark, gritty and brooding, the way Bond should be. He’s a killer not an entertainer. Timothy Dalton, you are my favourite Bond.
Well there you have it. My Bonds, in order. I hope you’re not too angry…Now if you don’t mind I have death threats to receive and Sean Connery to grovel to…