Why The Santa Clause will lead to nothing but bloodshed, violence and murder.

In the film, the Santa Clause, Tim Allen plays a father who accidentally kills the big, jolly guy himself (Santa). Allen must replace the bringer of joy and the movie ends with him saving Christmas day and becoming closer to his son as he does it. All is well.

OR IS IT!!!!????!!!

Well, let’s think about this. Allen becomes Santa by putting the mans clothes on after the body has disappeared, he has the free reign of everything Santa possessed. An army of slaves, a city (more or less), flying reindeer and all this for a job where he gets to jet-set around the world and go in people’s homes…Oh and he only has to do this once a year… So basically this is the most desirable job ever. If people ever heard about this then they’d be climbing over one another to kill this guy. In a sense it’s also the perfect murder. The body disappears as soon as you’ve killed him and the North Pole is in the middle of nowhere, the police can neither suspect you and , even if they did, they’re never gonna find you.

HA! Solve that one Fletcher!!

So now you have a situation whereby every assassin, killer or indeed pretty much everybody is after Allen with the intention of killing him. Well yeah, but only if they know what had happened and where the North Pole is. So Allen is safe…Well not entirely…His son did declare an interest of ‘going into the family buisness’…

Pictured: The Oedipus Complex meets Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer


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