When you think of friends, you think of loyal, supportive, loving and reliable people, right? At what point does that friendship become untenable due to the reliability exhibited?
Reliability -the ability to be relied on or depended on, as for accuracy, honesty, or achievement.
I consider myself to be a good friend. Someone who you can rely on to help you where and when you need it. Someone who is loyal to the bone. Who will love you and support you in bad times, and in the good. I will be there for you, and I would expect no less in return. A friendship should be a mutual bond between two people…
Being such a person, when an old friend of mine whom I’d not seen for 8 months or so informed me she had her exam coming up soon, which involved her designing a menu, and producing it by running a kitchen, and serving to the public, as a show of my support for her, I indicated I would genuinely love to be there to experience her expertise and promptly arranged a call around to other friends of mine, to see who was interested, and shortly thereafter, booked a table for 4.
Then, on the sunday (3 days before the event) I am informed one of them actually can’t come, the 2nd nobody has heard if she wants to go, and the third, isn’t sure if she has something else to do – but would tell me by 11am on the Wednesday…
Naturally, I start looking for replacements, not wanting to letmy friend down by cancelling. I only need one space filled, after all we weren’t sure about the 2nd or 3rd person. I had a lot of people send their regrets, and had a couple say they would maybe come, but no definates.
Tuesday night comes along, and I hear for definate now, that the 2nd definately is not coming, and so, kind of panicking, I call the 3rd to find out the plan, and get ignored. It is not until 2pm on the wednesday (today) that she informs me she also definately will not be coming…
So here I am, a table for 4 booked, and nobody to go with… I start contacting the ‘maybe’s and get told a lot of them aren’t able to make it. Fair enough. One says she thinks she can, but won’t tell me until later. I mean hello, the meal’s only 4 hours away?! It takes an hour long discussion – and the assurance she can bring a friend of hers – to finally convince her to come, and I’m sat here thinking to myself, is it me?
I mean why is it so hard to organise a meal – that isn’t even expensive – in a local location, in support of a mate? Do people just not want to associate with me? If thats the case, why consider yourself my friend?
No, it can’t be any of that. Why should it be me? As I’ve said already, I do anything I can to be there for my friends when they need me, even if they don’t know they do.
So it brings me back to the durability of a friendship… at which point does being let down over and over make a friendship become untenable?
Frankly? It doesn’t. Reliability is only one part of a friendship, and the thing I’ve found with my closest friend, is that friendship is knowing of their letdowns and flaws, and accepting it and loving them for it. You know what to expect with your friends, they wouldn’t be your friends otherwise.
After all, the old adage stands, you can’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends.
Choose wisely people