Why I hate the Britain’s Got Talent audience

Guys I’m not gonna lie. This is gonna be a rant. Not only that, I am going to swear like I have never sworn before. You will hear it all, the F word, the big B’s, hell I’ll even drop the C bomb every now and then. Why? Because I’ve just watched Britain’s got talent and it reminded me just how much I hate, detest, despise and loath the audience.

So, I was watching and this young farm kid came on with a guitar. He gave his name etc and then he started and yeah, he was good. He sang some song by Adele and he could play the guitar. Then it came to the judges. They each gave their views but, naturally, Simon Cowell gave his in a more constructive light. It reminded me of the other times when Cowell has said something constructive, not even insulting or spiteful, and the audience just went mad. They booed and jeered him and that pisses me off. This especially applies in the live shows, the point where everything is really serious. The audience pisses me off, I get so f*cking annoyed with these fu*king cun*s. They just drown him out, they don’t care if he is the fuc*king expert, they seem to think that he is being an ass even though he’s only trying to give fair criticism, some of which may even improve the act. The audience are just fu*&ing idiots, they don’t think that maybe what Cowell is trying to do is beneficial rather than douchey.

So, I watched some more and this German guy comes on. He seems quirky and, naturally, I think he’s freaking awesome. The panel ask where he’s from and the guy says Germany. The entire audience booed. What. The. Fu*k. I sat there thinking ‘Did they actually do that?’ I mean God, what the hell was that?! Simon Cowell actually turned around, shocked and said ‘Let it go guys, it was a long time ago. We’re friends now’ I couldn’t believe it. Yeah alright, it was done as a joke but for the ENTIRE FUC*ING AUDIENCE TO COLLECTIVELY DO IT?! That really pissed me off. The poor guy just stood there in his big, golden, winged, tinfoil suit (It makes sense in context) and looked awkward. Fu*k you audience, fu*k you.

So then these two fuc*ing hilarious people come on. Barbera and Bradley. I haven’t found two people this funny since I started reciting the speeches of Voldemort as read by Sean Connery in front of a mirror…Oh sweet Jesus I am so alone…Um, oh yeah, so anyway, these two people were just fuc*ing hilarious. They were quirky, they were weird, they were just hilarious. Barbera was going to perform some poetry (something which she had become interested in since her Siamese cat died) whilst Bradley danced in the background. Barbera said that she was going to perform a piece which had won a contest in Las Vegas but she didn’t go to the award ceremony.  Bradley danced in the background, in short it was hilarious. Then the audience did what they always fuc*ing do. They start acting like fuc*ing A* cu*ts. They chant ‘OFF! OFF! OFF!’ Like it’s some sort of fu*king war chant. It makes me want to commit genocide, a talent show audience genocide. I always feel bad for the people on stage and yet the audience just do not give a sh*t. They just keep chanting like the fu*king cu*ts they are. It reminds me of the people who organised flowers to classical music, or the couple who rang bells to ‘My Heart will go on’ (<3) The audience just act like twa*s. They don’t care if they are adding more pressure to people who are probably incredibly nervous as it is, especially when many of them are riding on this as their last chance to fame and fortune. They go out on stage in front of an audience of total strangers and perform something for which they have a passion, and what do the audience do? Fuc*ing ridicule them like the limey sacks of fu*k they are. Oh, and before you say anything, I know that the audience are put up to it by the producers but seriously, these are horrible, horrible human beings.

So then this fat kid and a really pretty girl ,whom he obviously loves, come on stage and half the audience laugh at the poor guy because he looks like Jabba the Hutts testicle (yeah, I know I’m not really being a good moral spokesperson am I?) Granted, I laughed and mocked and jeered but I knew that the guy could deliver something special. I knew not to judge on appearances, in all fairness I wasn’t, sure I was laughing but I knew he might do something great, I wasn’t just discounting any aura of talent because the guy was a ball of lard in a wig. The audience, on the other hand, did. As soon as he came on you could see he was nervous, and I felt for him. The guy had been bullied mercilessly for being fat and I really did feel for him. The audience didn’t care. They didn’t need to see the back story to know that the guy probably got bullied, I mean look at him for fuc*s sake! Who wouldn’t mock a guy who looked like that! I’m sure he’s a lovely person though and it’s that kind of pity and mercy that the audience clearly lacked. They laughed, sniggered and jeered. Those sick fu*kers. It’s not bad enough that someone who is obviously not the most confident of people is willing himself to stand on stage in front of these basta*ds, but they just laugh at him ‘Oh he’s fat, he can’t do anything’ FU*K YOU AUDIENCE! FU*K YOU IN THE FU*kING ASS YOU FUC*NG CU**S!!! I mean, dear God this made me angry. The camera focused, as it always does in these situations, on these two fu*king whores who  look at one another and snigger. I could’ve punched these fu*king whores in the face, I was furious, you haven’t even heard him sing!! Once again, I know they edit it this way but seriously, have they learned nothing from all this? Dear God, do the names Paul Potts and Susan Boyle mean nothing to these cu*ts???!!! I can’t believe that they haven’t caught on that ugly people not only have feelings, but may also be talented too. Holy sh*t fu*ks did I wanna slaughter them for that. Ignorant motherfu*kers. Naturally the guy sings and, as expected, he is freaking incredible, he’s like Pavarotti. Even Simon Cowell says he’s unbelievable. The audience react by giving him two standing ovations, some silly bit*h who only moments ago was laughing, starts to cry because he’s so movingly brilliant. They judged and mocked and then applauded him, but that doesn’t matter. These fu*king basta*ds just can’t grasp the fact that it’s a nerve-racking experience to be performing in front of a live audience and that people have feelings. They act as a mob, They don’t care about people’s feelings, they jeer and mock and deride. They are horrible human beings and I hate them. It doesn’t matter which series it is or the fact that it’s not always the same people in the audience. They act together and always in the same, cruel, ignorant fashion. I fuck*ng hate the audience of this show.


6 thoughts on “Why I hate the Britain’s Got Talent audience

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