That Guy’s Top 50 Actors

My lists are still quite popular, so once again, here I am, writing one. This time, I thought I’d write up about my Top 50 Actors. Just to clarify, all of the following people are ACTORS, and as such, are MALE and from TV, film, game or radio. Anyone who has a go at me for not having any women on my list, please wait until I have a chance to write my Top 5o Actresses list. Thank you and enjoy!

50 – Richard Ayoade

Richard Ayoade, more popularly known as Moss. Yes. Richard is Moss from The IT Crowd. What a role? I mean, SURE, he doesn’t do a great job of the acting, but that, to me, is a sign of the character, rather than the actor. The character, in this case, is wooden, and since none of the modern tv comedy actors are wooden, this must be a superb case of acting. Also, he makes me laugh. Happy Tnetennba Day to you all!

49 – Kelsey Grammer

Kelsey Grammer is famous for playing the roles of Frasier Crane and Sideshow Bob. A radio psychiatrist from Seattle and a murderous maniac from Springfield. Not much difference, really… He plays both of these quite well, in my opinion, so he’s here, as number 48 on my list. Nice one Kelsey!

48 – Woody Harrelson

Woody Harrelson. Who’s he played? Well, how about the gung-ho guy in Zombieland, or maybe the bowler in Kingpin, or maybe the… Well, that’s all I remember, but he’s definitely played a few good roles. I mean, not many people can pull off their hand, I mean, having only one hand, or being a redneck in a zombie apocalypse. He pulled it off, so here is, at number 47.

47 – Johnny Depp

Johnny Depp, the actor in almost every single Tim Burton film. I first saw him as that creepy guy with the scissors that I was scared to watch get arrested, then as Captain Jack Sparrow, before being Willy Wonka. He can act, sure, but had it not been for his Jack Sparrow and his Sleepy Hollow performance, he wouldn’t be here. They were great roles and he pulled them off well. Other than that, he just creeps me out. Even his Willy Wonka was too much for me. Sorry Johnny. I’ve blamed you, but it’s probably Tim’s fault. Sorry!

46 – Brad Pitt

Ah. Brad Pitt. Remember him? The man that started Fight Club, married Mrs Smith and the mastermind behind releasing a shitload of animals from a zoo in 12 Monkeys. He can act. I’ll give him that. His insane characters are his best, but his ‘I love Angie’ role was pretty good. I like him as an assassin, but other than that, he’s just… not good enough. Brad. You’re great and all, but you’re too… what’s the word… too woman-friendly. Women love you, and that’s great. I envy you for that. If women loved me as much as they love you, I’d be a happy man. Sadly, they don’t, so it’s hateful jealousy. Sorry, but it is…

45 – Neil Patrick Harris

Ah. Neil Partrick Harris. The infamous Barney Stinson. Boy, would I suit up with him, given the chance… He’s a great actor for a great character… The perv in every group. He’s me, in ours. It’s true. Ted’s here now and he’s nodding away as I write this. We all know I’m a bit dodgy in the pervert way and so is Barney. I watched the ‘Lemon Law’ episode last night and as far as I’m concerned, it showed off his brilliant nature. He is a visionary and a visionary is hard to portray. Trust me. I’ve been trying for the last 17 years…

44 – Adrian Edmondson

Adrian Edmondson. I first saw you as Vivian, then as Eddie, and now as that doctor from Holby or Casualty (I can’t be bothered to check). You’ve made me laugh, cringe and cry, in that order. You’re great. No other word for it. Great. Not as good as those below you on this list, but good enough to beat your co-stars. Rik Mayall was nearly here, before I realised he’s the same character over and over and over and over again. That’s why Gervais isn’t here… Back to the point. Adrian. Good job!

43 – Liam Neeson

Liam Neeson. The first Jedi I watched die, in a cinema. In fact, the ONLY Jedi I watched die in a cinema. Mum and Dad’s wedding anniversary. We watched it, then had Pizza Hut. Mum wasn’t too fond of the film, but science fiction has never really appealed to her. It is still, however, one of my favourite Star Wars films of all time, and yes, I am a proper fan. Liam. I’ve seen your other roles as well. I mean, you were great as a revenge-seeking father in Taken, and you made me laugh a lot in your episode of Life’s Too Short. You pushed the boundaries of humour and it worked. You always appear to be serious, but you have your funny side as well. It’s good to see you in the two roles. Everyone needs to be able to do both. You can, so good work!

42 – Leonard Nimoy

Leonard Nimoy, Spock, Bilbo Baggins fanatic… Why is he here? Well, he helped to redefine science fiction writing for the world. His role as Spock was the most convincing humanoid alien acting in the history of ever, at the time. Since then, we’ve had, well, we’ve had, erm, well.. Ok. So he’s the most convincing  humanoid alien actor ever. That gives him the slot, does it? Nope. It’s his voice and range. Sure, you’ve not seen him do much, other than Spock, but the fact that he can do emotionless and emotion-filled… Spectacular. His Bilbo Baggins song showed that he can act. The smile on his face says it all…

41 – Zachary Quinto

What’s this? Another Spock actor? Well, this one always disappointed me as Spock. Instead, he’s here for his role as Sylar, in the hit TV series Heroes. He was great as the murdering psychopath, and having only just found out that he was, in fact, a good guy, in the last episode, I’m a little disappointed by the show. To be honest, I was when they started season 3, but no complaints. I got to see more of Claire… Back to the point. Sylar was a great character and EASILY my favourite. He’s a great character, played by a great actor. Good job Zachary!

40 – Ian McDiarmid

Go for Popa-Palpatine. This one man made so many shiver with fear and delight. How? His look. They made him look old, then they made him look normal-age, before making him old again. Before today, I thought it was multiple men that played Palpatine, but no. One man for all five films. Got to be impressed… Another great, if over confident, villain, played by a great actor. I should watch something else he’s been in, really…

39 – David McCallum

David McCallum currently plays ‘Duckie’ in NCIS, but his biggest role, to me, would be his one ion The Great Escape. I mean, BLIMEY! He was in the great escape? Sure, he got rounded up and shot, but bloody hell. He was in the great escape. What happened to him in that? Well, if memory serves me well, he sacrifices himself to save two other British escapees, before they get themselves caught by being idiots and speaking English. Poor David. Ah well. He’s still got a career now…

38 – James Earl Jones

Darth Vader and Mufasa. ‘Nuff said. Why is he here? His voice. That’s the only reason. He has a great voice for acting with. There’s not much more to say on that front…

37 – Kevin Smith

Kevin Smith, the actor and director, most famous for his role as Silent Bob, the seemingly mute character from most of Kevin Smith’s films. He always makes me chuckle, what with his mime-like nature and his ability to be the best character on screen, when you’ve got Alanis Morrisette as God and Alan Rickman as her voice… Thanks Dogma. Thanks…

36 – Chris Rock

Another Dogma actor, this time black and the embodyment of the 13th apostle. He’s not here for that, although it was a contributing factor. I put him here because he has acted, but his comedy is spectacular. I’ve never not laughed at what he’s said, unless it’s not been a joke, or has been the run up to. All of his jokes make me think and laugh and smile. He’s here, get used to it!

35 – Laurence Fishburne

Morpheus. Morpheus from The Matrix. Frickin’ Morpheus. He’s a great character, played by a great actor. He was also pretty good in Assault On Precint 13, as well, but that goes without saying, right? His voice fits his roles and he’s capable at making you thinking about the character he plays. That’s all an actor needs to be…

34 – Christopher Ecclestone

Christopher Ecclestone is quite possibly, my 2nd favourite Doctor Who of all time. Why? He revived the series. Without him, it wouldn’t have worked. Also, he was great at playing Jesus in The Second Coming and as Henry West in 28 Days Later. He can be a saint and a bastard and a time-travelling alien. What bigger range does any actor need? Well, he also played John Lennon, to a reasonably convincing degree. Should be higher on the list, but, sadly, he isn’t. Maybe next time, Chris. Maybe next time.

33 – John Cleese

John Cleese, famous for his work with Monty Python, is spectacular. He can act, write, make people laugh and, most of all, debate. He’s great! I mean, Basil Fawlty was a good role, but the leader of the Judean People’s Front? The Roman that gets angsty about mis-written latin? Life of Brian FTW!

32 – Michael Gambon

Dumbledore. He played Dumbledore. He wasn’t as great at it as Richard Harris was, but he’s also been around the Top Gear track and nearly killed himself doing it. That’s dedication. The dedication needed by any director, for any actor. Good on you, Mickey boy, good on you!

31 – René Auberjonois

Ah, René. You are amazing. You know why? Because you’re getting a bit on the older side now, yet you act as though you were a much younger man. You inspire people with your roles and I’ve yet to see you play the bastard. Also, having met you in person, I feel confident saying that you’re a good person.

30 – Armin Shimerman

Armin Shimmerman, known as Quark and the principle from Buffy. What roles? I mean, CRIKEY! He’s played a proffessional conman and the man in charge of an American school. They might not be THAT different, but as far as I’m concerned, Quark was the notable one. Armin. Keep up the good work!

29 – Martin Freeman

Martin Freeman, of The Office, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and Sherlock fame. He’s played an office worker, the last human in existence and Dr John Watson. Two big roles and a minor one. Not bad roles, any of them. So, yeah. Martin Freeman. He played all the roles well, so far as I can judge, so is aptly suited to the position of #28.

28 – Andrew Scott

Andrew Scott played Jim Moriarty in Sherlock. Need I say any more? I mean, seriously. Need I say ANYTHING else? Well, I’m going to anyway. He played the controlled insanity as though it were a genetic pre-disposition. How do you play that, I hear you ask… Subtextually, of course! Hang on… That was a Jim Parsons quote… Should have saved that for later… Regardless, he’s a great actor and one of the few that I know you won’t argue against being on here. Ha!

27 – Patrick Stewart

Patrick Stewart, famous for his stage roles, portraying Captain Jean Luc Picard and Professor Charles Xavier, as well as many others. Why is he here? Well, he’s one of the few actors that has lines that stick in my head. As in, how voice, saying those words. Which ones? Well, there’s “Engage”, “Red Alert!” and, my personal favourite, “I’ve already seen everything…”. Patrick. You are a voice-over genius, and whilst not the best on this list, you’ll always be in my top 50!

26 – Jim Parsons

Jim Parsons, the actor that plays Sheldon Lee Cooper in The Big Bang Theory. Why am I even writing this? You should know why he’s here. He marks the genius within us all, the genius that can pass himself off as a man 15 years his senior, the genius that gets put down by the average idiot that surrounds him… No. I don’t connect with him at all… Regardless, of all the TV Genius’ in the media, here is my favourite and as such, here he is.

25 – Jim Carrey

Jim Carrey, the comedy genius, is a, well, comedy genius. Be he Bruce Nolan, Ace Ventura or Truman Burbank, he can make people laugh. He’s had a large number of great roles in the comedy genre and it is, in my opinion, his best style. However, I’ve also seen some of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, which is a scarily serious film. He was great in what I saw and as such, he can impress me with both the comedic and serious roles. That, my dear reader, is the sign of a great actor. THAT, is why he’s on this list.

24 – Colm Meaney

Colm Meaney, another actor I have met recently. I wrote this before I met him, so don’t think there’s any unfair favouritism. He was made known to me through his role in Star Trek The Next Generation and Deep Space Nine, in which he played Miles O’Brien, the transporter chief and chief engineer, respectively. Then I saw L4yer Cake. Then I watched Die Hard 2. Then I saw Con Air. He’s a great actor and so many people just don’t seem to get it. I don’t know why people don’t get it. I really don’t. He’s a great man and a great actor. Yeah. He’s here. He’ll probably ALWAYS be here. Good work Colm. Shame they had to smash your car…

23 – Stephen Merchant

Stephen Merchant, of various shows made by Gervais, Portal 2, Hall Pass and various other films. He makes me laugh. He always has. Be it because of how tall he is, or because he can actually tell funny jokes. I don’t know. He’s funny. THAT’S all I know. He’s my favourite star of all of the Gervais films/shows and from Hall Pass, he had the greatest jokes I liked, even if he was stoned during those scenes…

22 – Kunal Nayyar

Kunal Nayyar has the hardest time of everyone in the Big Bang Theory. You know why? He has to, whilst not intoxicated, use his body to create humour, instead of using his words. He has some of the best lines, the best plots and the best excuse for his inability to pick up women. He reminds me of Ted, in a way, but when I realise that I’m a Howard, I get a bit concerned…


21 – Ben Stiller

Ben Stiller, of Zoolander, Night at the Museum, There’s Something About Mary and Anchorman. He’s great. I mean, WOAH! He’s superb. He is, for want of a new vocabulary, spectacular. I mean, WOAH! Wait, I’ve done that… He, like Merchant, makes me laugh. There’s not a scene I’ve seen him in, which was supposed to be funny, that didn’t amuse me. Sure, he should be next to Merchant, but I’ve seen Stiller in more stuff, so he’s here instead. Go on. Sue me. Please, Stephen. Not you…

20 – Hugo Weaving

Hugo Weaving was Agent Smith, V and Elrond. What more do I need to say? He’s played the big villian, the big hero and the big Switzerland. He’s got all three! That’s an acting portfolio you want, ain’t it? I mean, crikey. What else COULD you want? He can play the guy that spends three films trying to kill everyone, the guy that spends one film trying to save everyone and the guy that spends three films telling everyone else to stop the bad guys, whilst in turn secretly fleeing to safety. Ah. Good ol’ Hugo!

19 – Gary Oldman

Sirius Black and James Gordon. The guy that flees from the law and dies whilst defending his godson, and the guy that leads the law and fakes his own death whilst saving the guy who later turned bad. It’s a funny ol’ world, ain’t it? Regardless of how funny this world is, however, this man can act. He can make me feel for him regardless of his situation and I felt sympathy both times he ‘died’. That, is one sign of a great actor. Not THE sign, but a big sign. It’s like, the Hollywood Sign of Acting.

18 – Samuel L. Jackson

Ezekiel 25:17. The three words that made me fall in love with Samuel L. Jackson, the actor. He’s capable of striking fear into your very heart through the act of speaking an adapted passage from the Bible. THAT is what I call a powerful voice. I mean, it’s not like Alanis Morrisette from Dogma, but still, it does what it needs to do. He managed to kill the people he needs to kill, whilst trying to achieve that righteous status he believes he deserves. Sure, it’s the character, but the character is NOTHING without a good actor. Thus, Samuel L. Jackson achieves 17th place…

17 – Sean Connery

Sean Connery, the guy whoshe voishe I am mosht happy imitating. I can, you know. Sho many people comment on my Connery voishe. Mosht of thoshe commentsh are complimentsh. Mosht of them… He’sh got a great voishe, hashn’t he? I mean, shure, he’sh a bit… sh-y, but that’sh how it worksh with the Shcotish. That’sh exactly how it worksh. I wouldn’t shay it to hish fashe, of courshe. Not at all. He’sh a great actor and that’sh all that needsh shaying. Now, ash I’m shure you’re aware, hish name ish Bond. Jamesh Bond…

16 – Cillian Murphy

Cillian Murphy, first shown to me in 28 Days Later, then Batman Begins, then In Time, is great at playing the doomed roles. You expect him to get screwed over by the end of the film. We all do. You know why? Because without being screwed over, no-one’s a victim. He plays the victim well. Better than most are willing to try, to be fair. I like the victim. It makes me connect with someone. Cillian, nice work!

15 – Alan Rickman

Alan Rickman, known for his roles as Hans Gruber, Severus Snape, Metatron, the Sherriff of Nottingham, Alexander Dane and many more roles, in Die Hard, the Harry Potter series, Dogma, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and Galaxy Quest, respectively. Quite an impressive list. The terrorist, the voice of God, an actor in a fictional Star Trek inspired TV show, a series about a wizard and his schooling and the bad guy that steals from the poor to give to the rich. That’s quite a range and that’s all that I’ve seen him in. It is a rather impressing list and of all of his roles, I’ll have to say that the Galaxy Quest character is almost definitely my favourite. If not that, then the Dogma character. If not that, then Snape, Snape, Severus Snape…

Rickman, you are an acting legend who succeeded long after the average person would have given up. Good work Alan. I mean it. I really do.

14 – Christopher Lee

Christopher Lee, famous for being in films, such as Star Wars episodes 2 and 3, the Lord of the Rings series, The Man with the Golden Gun, the Wicker Man and numerous Hammer Horror films. He’s played the bad guys as though it were a typecasting issue and to be honest, I’m impressed with him for it. I was surprised to learn that he even played the role of the narrator in a 1995 version of Rocky Horror. That’s probably his most docile role I’ve ever seen, but that also makes two Bond villians to have played the role… Good ol’ Charles Gray. Heck, he’s even been a role in, quite possibly, my favourite space-fighter-shooting game of all time, Freelancer. Great game. I’ll probably review that next… Christopher is, as far as I’m concerned, the 13th greatest actor of all time.

13 – David Tennant

David Tennant, shown to me originally in the role of The Doctor, from the hit TV series ‘Dr Who’ from June 2005, through to New Years Day, 2010. That’s a LONG reign. And no, I didn’t check that. I knew… I’m clever like that… Ok. Now I’ll check…

He had been a very inspirational actor and throughout his time as The Doctor, I have not, to my recollection, been let down by his acting in anything I’ve seen him act in. I mean, sure, his role as Barty Crouch Jnr. was a little lacking, but I never really felt that he had a big enough part in the book either. David Tennant was always going to be on this list and right now, he’s number 12. ‘Nuff said!

12 – Denzel Washington

Denzel Washington, from the Book of Eli, which just so happens to be the only thing I’ve ever actually seen him in. I knew he’d played Malcom X, but his role as Eli was all I knew. This was it. This was the only film I’ve seen him in and now I feel silly putting him in 11th place. However, if you’ve seen his role as the blind, religious, super-warrior of the post-apocalyptic world, you’d agree with me. He is a spectacular actor and right now I’m smiling, knowing that he’s in the spot he deserves.

11 – Stephen Fry

Stephen Fry was an unusual choice for me, not really considering him an actor. All of the roles I’ve seen him in were sort of like him, but I like him, and as such, like the characters as well. A funny way of saying it, now that I think about it, but it’s true. He’s not had many film roles, but he’s had a lot of roles overall, I mean, look at the films he has been in. V for Vendetta, St. Trinians, Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy, Thunderpants, Stormbreaker, Alice In Wonderland, I.Q…. etc. Now look at the games… Ok. Not many games, but he’s one of those actors whose voice is almost everythign about them. He is extremely capable of making people laugh and has a lot of influence in the media. Stephen, I salute you!

10 – Ian McKellan

YOU, SHALL NOT, PASS! Sorry. Force of habit. Now, I like McKellan because of Gandalf and Magneto. Simple as that. Yes, he’s played other roles that I’ve seen, no I don’t care. Magneto is one hell of a bad-ass villian and who’s a greater hero than Gandalf, the guy that fought a mother-fucking fire monster with a bit of wood and a sword?!? I just asked Ted for his opinion on that bit and all he did was nod and smile, with his eyes closed. I slapped him. No, I didn’t, but I was tempted…

Gandalf is on hell of a hero and Magneto is one hell of a villian. There is no other range of characters you can play. It’s as simple as that. He’s great with both and boy does he give this list some credibility!

9 – Harrison Ford

Now, when I say ‘Harrison Ford’, you think of Han Solo or Indiana Jones. Well, why wouldn’t you? They were, and always will be, his biggest roles. Now, what about his role in Blade Runner, eh? He had a tough time of it in that film. Why? He had his ass handed to him by a tall blonde guy that has a thing for doves and rain-soaked monologues. What else do you need to be able to survive in order to be called a great actor? They burnt his face on Star Wars, froze him on Star Wars, nearly killed him on Star Wars and that’s just Star Wars! Now, he’s not the best, but he’s one of, or rather, the 8th. He knows his lines, his vocal range is good enough for what he’s had to do and as far as I’m concerned, he’s one hell of an archaeologist!

8 – Anthony Hopkins

Anthony Hopkins, probably most famous for playing Hannibal Lector, in Silence of the Lambs, is a spectacular actor. Have you SEEN Silence of the Lambs? I have. I think it’s a stunning film and it wouldn’t be without Jodie Foster, The guy that played Buffalo Bill and, of course, the creme dela creme, Anthony Hopkins. Why is that so? Well, he’s creepy, which works for that particular role, but he’s also clever. I might just be falling for the character, but I don’t think I am. I genuinely think that he’s a brilliant actor and, were it not for the existence of the people with a better position than him, on this list, he’d be number one. True story!

7 – Benedict Cumberbatch

Benedict Cumberbatch, relatively unknown to me until recently, has been in quite a few things I’ve seen. I watch Sherlock, whenever I see that it’s on, as well as the Have I Got News For You, in which he was pretty neat. I forgot that he was in Four Lions, but I loved that film and now, all I can think of is my Sherlock obsessed associate. Hmmm. Sherlock. Great show, by the way. Love the show. Great cast and great acting, namely, by Cumberbatch! His portrayal of the genius detective, coupled with the socially awkward genius, is brilliant and tops off the show with relative ease. Easily my favourite TV actor of the modern day!

6 – John Malkovich

Lennie, Marvin Boggs, Humma Kavula and Cyrus ‘The Virus’ Grissom. What else does ANYONE need to do? He’s played the idiot, the criminal genius, the intergalactic religiosu leader and, my second favourite, the paranoid ex-black ops conspiracy theorist with shit-loads of guns. THAT is preparation for the zombie uprising… Lucky bastard!

Malkovich has the magical gift of being under-estimated. You look at Malkovich and you think, ‘hmmm, I could take him’. Don’t. I mean it. Don’t! He can act, look the part and lull you into a false sense of security. Heck, he killed a woman with his bare hands, by accident, in Of Mice And Men. Tell me he can’t do the same to you if he wanted… But, that, er, that isn’t why he’s 6th… Honest… Mr Malkovich, Sir. I don’t suppose you could lower that gun now?

5 – Jack Nicholson

HERE’S JACKIE. Jack Nicholson, of The Shining, One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, Batman and Mars Attacks, fame. What an actor! I mean, BLIMEY! He played a crazed man, a man accused of being crazy, a crazy man and the president. Not much difference then, is there. In all seriousness, though, he is a very convincing actor. He plays with insanity well, from what I’ve seen, and even when he has to be a bit more serious, he can, with relative ease (God I love that term!) Jack Nicholson – what a guy!

4 – Alec Guinness

RUN LUKE! RUN! I mean, get the hell out here Ben. I mean, help me Obi Wan Kenobi, I MEAN, hey there Alec. How ya doing? What do you mean he’s dead. I’ll be honest. I cried when I found out, about, oooh, three weeks ago. HOW DARE THEY NOT TELL ME?!? I mean, bloody hell. An actor, that played the first Jedi I ever wanted to be, a criminal mastermind that got killed by a train signal and some bloke from Bridge on the River Kwai. Those were some good movies (Star Wars, The Ladykillers, Bridge on the River Kwai). He sort of… Creeped me out, at first, but now he’s just another guy that I can imitate the voice of. It’s true, you know. I really can. I’ll do it now… Yeah, you didn’t hear that. HA! Alec, this is for you!

3 – Morgan Freeman

My name is Morgan Freeman, thank you, for reading. I remember Morgan Freeman from Shawshank Prison. He did not talk much and was violated often. Morgan? I, am God. Buy now, and receive Morgan Freeman’s greatest lines in the history of film. He’s had a great life, hasn’t he? He’s played all sorts of people. There was his role as God, and then God, and then that old guy that did that stuff… Yeah. I can’t think of anyone else. Regardless, right now, he is my favourite voice actor. Of all the actors here, he has the best voice for voiceovers and that’ll always be my opinion on the matter. No, I can’t imitate his voice very well, but he is my next target…

2 – Gene Wilder

Gene Wilder, most famous, probably, for Willy Wonka, as well as playing Young Frankenstein and starring alongside Mel Brooks in SOOOOOOOO many films. He makes people laugh, makes people sing and MOST OF ALL, yeah, MOST OF ALL, I like the way you… Wait for it… MOVE! Know, be serious for a moment. He is, quite possibly, the greatest comedy actor of all time, and by that, I mean, he is the greatest comedy actor of all time. What’s all that about? Well, let’s be honest. It’s not HARD to be a great comedy actor. What is hard is being the best and right here, right now, heard from me, I declare that Gene Wilder IS the greatest comedy actor of all time, ever, from now until both ends of time itself. ‘Nuff said.

Now, here’s the moment you’ve been waiting for. The moment that makes all of this so worthwhile for me. The moment where I reveal who I believe to be the greatest actor of all time, at the moment, in any form of acted media, ever. Ahem… Drum roll, please?

Wait for it…

Wait for it…


1 – Steve Buchemi

Yes. Steve Buschemi. You want to know why? Well, HERE is why.

Because, let’s face it, it wasn’t his looks…

Buscemi has played a lot of roles. His earliest role that I’ve seen was probably Reservoir Dogs, in which he played Mr Pink, the diamond heist participant, who was the last to die, supposing that he did. I’m unsure, myself. Then, he was Buddy Holly, in Pulp Fiction, a cameo role, in which he performed admirably, as always.

The next major role I saw him in, was as Rockhound in Armageddon, a stunning film about love, life and massive meteorites! He was the crazy one. The one that got himself into all sorts of debt and decided to sacrifice himself after screwing everything up, before being strapped to a chair and left in the ship for the rest of the film. He was a hero that owed a large amount of money, and yet, he did brilliantly. He was a convincing character.

Now, his roles with Adam Sandler. Where do I begin? Billy Maddison, The Wedding Singer (in which he was hilarious) and Big Daddy, in which he played a hobo. He has a great range, from the sophisticated criminal, to the homeless guy on the street, to the alcoholic singer and the space-faring hero. But, that’s just the cake. HERE, my dear reader, is the icing.

Ah. Garland Greene, the sanest crazy-son-of-a-bitch on a plane filled with crazy sons-of-bitches…

Con Air, in which he played the best character of all time, ever, in my opinion. Garland Greene, the craziest man on that plane. I have had it, with these mother-fucking criminals on this mother-fucking plane! Or, something like that… Now, why he’s such a great character should be obvious. He’s creepy, but educated, intelligent, but scary. He could kill you if he wanted, but instead, he’ll sit in his chair and wait until shit goes down, before doing anything. Sure, he might sing a song in a creepy voice, but other than that, he does NOTHING in the entire film, other than make you think he’s going to kill a girl, but in reality, he’s just the retired killer. He doesn’t want to kill anyone and as far as I’m aware, he put up no resistance to the protagonist in the film, at all. He is the Hannibal Lector of Con Air, but if you multiplied him by fifty…

So, Steve Buscemi, the greatest actor of all time. If you disagree, comment, leave your top 10 and we’ll see who you all think is the best. No. I won’t allow anyone to put Shatner on here. If you say Shatner, your comment will be deleted. If I wanted Ham, I’d sit here with a buttered bread roll and some salad cream…

That Guy

11 thoughts on “That Guy’s Top 50 Actors

  1. It has come to my attention that SOME images may not have uploaded properly. I have no issues seeing them from my computer, so please, report any that do not work for you and I’ll fix it.

    Thank you.


  2. Ian McDiamid, Sean Connery and David Tennant pictures all don’t work for me. The one position i don’t agree with most:
    Johnny Depp should have been higher, because, yes you are blaming him for Tim’s creepy characters.

    Plus, i get the feeling you were basing this list too much on there voices. You defiantly used acting talent as a measure, but are there voices really that important, except for Scar…

    Finally, where’s Robert Downey JR?!?
    P.s. You missed out that Steven Fry was in the movie I.Q.! WHAT was that about?


    1. I’ll have a look at them when I get a chance…

      Johnny didn’t HAVE to accept the roles. He’s in so much demand that he could have refused…

      The voice is half of the actor. Without the voice, the actor is nothing. Imagine, say Buscemi, but with Joe Pasquali’s voice. Wouldn’t have worked. The voice and look… No way in hell.

      I don’t think Robert Downey Jnr is as good as the rest of the actors on the list. Close, but not close enough.

      PS. I couldn’t mention EVERYTHING they’d been in. I had to trim, so I cut that out. I did know he was in it, but it wasn’t THAT important to me.


      1. Ok, in order, from the top people….


        Point taken about Johnny

        I don’t think voice is half the actor, speaking as an actor myself, i would say selling the part is probably the most important thing, and the voice is, i would say about a third the actor, not a half. But still important, like when Braveheart sounded from New Zeland/Australia.

        Too bad about Robert. He will always be in my top 50, and that’s enough for me….

        P.s. Maybe i just love the movie too much but…. you could have edited it in.


      2. I maintain that it’s a half, as the acting and voice sell the character. Ah well. And I’ve already changed this list once, I’m not doing it again…


  3. Fair enough! That is a fine thing to stand by your decisions. I applause you for that sir, i really do….Just put I.Q. in it…..


    1. NO! NEVER! THE DARK FIRE WILL NOT… Irrelevant quote, but my point still stands. Besides, YOU could just edit it in… You’ve got permission…


    1. Upon writing this particular list (note the date), I hadn’t really seen many Tom Hanks films that I felt would let me judge him acting ability accurately. However, should I write an updated version, I do believe that Tom Hanks would be in my top 20.

      That Guy


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