Ancient Greek Gods

Right, i’m now going to confess a personal geekyness. I love the ancient Greek religion. I really do! They have such great stories, a detailed map of there underworld and some of the best gods of any religion, including the Roman religion as it just copied (badly) this one. They have some of the best hero’s, heroins and monsters and i will now honor my love of there gods with this post of my top favorite 20.

20) Hera

The queen of the gods, wife to Zues, and my least favorite god of all the ones i remembered to mention. Why, well lets examine the facts, shall we. For starters, she is Goddess of magic and didn’t see humans a fit enough species to be bestowed with this gift. More importantly, she is also the Goddess of child birth, mothers and child upbringing, not to mention family. With this in mind, it seems contradictory that she would try to kill a baby (Hercules), just because Zues had him with another woman and she was jealous. If you think about it, shes his step mum and is trying to kill him when her godly position is to be against just that! So sorry Hera, your not for me.

19) Dionysus

God of wine and festivities. Basically, god of all parties and nightclubs. He is meant to watch over people and make sure they have fun. So why is he 19 in my list. Well, think about it, being god of alcohol also means being god of….yep, you’ve probably guessed, hangovers! He also watches over drunks, and as a nightclub glass collector, i know they need watching over, but alcohol is an indulgence that can lead to drunks and alcoholics, as Dionysus himself must be by now if he’s real, so is he all that good?

18) Persephone

Daughter of Demeter and Zues, queen of the underworld, tricked by Hades into marriage and only allowed to the world for six months, creating the seasons. Goddess of nature and growth. Literally, Greek mother nature! So why only 18. Well, she hates it in the underworld watching over the dead when shes so connected to life and wishes to escape. Well, three demigods (half gods) have gone to the underworld and escaped again: Achilles, Hercules and Perseus. If those half gods can do it, why can’t she? Conclusion, she sits about in the underworld for autumn and winter whining about her life and not doing anything about it, like a teenager really. So, for that reason, 18.

17) Narcissus 

Not a god, but a story, and i don’t know about twenty Greek gods. Narcissus was renowned for how hansom he was across all of Greece. Only Narcissus was proud in that he disdained those who loved him for he loved his own beauty more. Nemesis, knowing this, lured Narcissus to a pool where he could see perfectly his own reflection. He feel in love with it and found himself unable to leave it’s side, not knowing it was only a reflection. He died gazing at himself in that pond. Puts a rather tragic twist on the phrase “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”.

16) Aphrodite

Famous as the Goddess of love and beauty. Also famous in all Greek tales, except in troy, for not doing much. So why put the Goddess of relationships so far down the scale. Simply, because she is also the goddess of heart break and breakups. But, little known fact about Aphrodite; she is the oldest of all the gods. Born in the time of the titans from a pearl in a giant clam from the sea. I think this makes her special, so 16.

15) Hermes 

God of travelers and mail. An important person in the gods world who delivers messages from gods to gods or gods to mortals and even from mortals to gods!…. For a fee of course, as he is also god of thief’s. Well, one had to be, but that is a small issue compered to his importance. due to this, 15.

14) Iris

The Goddess of rainbows. Yes, Rainbows! Need i say more, well i’m gonna. She also allows her rainbows to be used, for a small fee, of course, as like the gods version of Skype. It allows for a face to face chat between god/god-god/mortal-mortal/god, which i think tops Hermes’s mail system and gives Iris 14.

13) Athena

Goddess of knowledge, architecture and war strategy. A little all over the place, but there you go. The book worm of the gods, designer of Olympus and main god for war time strategics, she can be invaluable to the other gods. But she is also described as cold and calculating. As she proved with Achilles, she is willing to risk her own sons life for a winning strategy. For this, i feel she deserves no more than 13.

12) Hephaestus

God of the forge and of fire and the making of things, industry and most importantly to me…. god of science! Cast off Olympus by his mother HERA for being to ugly and dis-formed (horrid bitch!) he found refuge in the forges at the center of mount Olympus and came to know cyclops as his brothers and learnt from then a compassion he would have never learn’t from his mother. Staying strong in times of adversity (absolute rejection by his own mother as an infant) and a kind and forgiving nature, give Hephaestus my number 12 spot.

11) Morpheus

God of the night sky, aka stars and of dreams. A mysterious and mystical god. The only god who can make the others fall asleep. He makes the constellations and gives people there dreams. But, he also gives them there nightmares, which he enjoys doing just as much as giving good dreams. For this, oddness, i award Morpheus spot 11 and think its appropriate a spot because its just as odd as he is.

10) Apollo

He’s driver. Or a shofeur, depending on your point of view. He’s in charge of driving the sun! Not a big job then. His three steads, the north, east and west winds pull his sun chariot across the sky. I’ve put him in tenth because he’s described in many myths as a show off and big headed. Also, as his only godly duty is looking after the sun, 10 seems an appropriate place.

9) Pan

Again, not exactly a God. He is the ruler of the half Human half Goat race of Satyr’s, blessed with god like powers for his love of nature. He has the ability to command all woodland creatures and is the lord of all the Satyr’s (hero trainers and protectors). Although he was allowed to live on Olympus, he choose to remain with nature, where he disappeared. The story is he was absorbed into all of nature through his gigantic love for it, and may reform and reveal himself to those worthy of his presence. No one’s found him since.

8) Dementer

Goddess of nature, plants and farmers. Literally the ancient Greek mother nature, she has a love for all things that grow. She was one of the original six Gods and Goddess’s, making her a sister of Zues, Hades and Poseidon. Only, she loves nature more than she loves people, so it’s really only her reputation as the first mother nature that gives her eighth place.

7) Artemis

Now, I didn’t want to give Artemis seventh place to begin with. I though more to the teens with her, as Goddess of hunting and the moon, she sounds brilliant and a lot of people admire the moon; but i didn’t think this was enough. Then my sister, who helped me construct this list reminded me how important hunting was in the time of ancient Greece. More importantly is that she is the guardian of young maidens, aka: virgin girls, and my sister insisted that meant she be pushed up the list. So for the persistence of my sister, i award Artemis seventh place.

6) Hercules

Now, all of you must know, in some form or another, whether it be the original, altered or Disney version, the story of Hercules. A great hero, son of Zues blessed with immense strength and a Pegasus (flying horse). Depending on which story you’ve heard, you will know different facts, but in every story he defeats all enemy he’s pitted against. In the original story at the end, he is blessed with the gift from Zues to become a God and live on Olympus as God of strength and courage. He trully erned this spot so he truly earns sixth.

5) Ares

The God of war. Call of Duty, Battlefield 3 and all other war based games thanks to him. Though, millions have died in real wars over many thousands of years. Is there sacrifice something to be celebrated? maybe. I have given Ares fifth because he was created out of the gods anger and hate for there predecessors, the Titans. He was born from the Gods war with the Titans and as such was the Key to the Gods overall victory. He served his creation perfectly and it could be argued that it’s best he’s still around, or that he should now leave.

4) Hades

God of the Underworld. You may think there’s more to him than that, but there actually isn’t, he’s JUST God of the Underworld. Persephone is protector of the dead for six mouths, so Hades only has to that for the other six. Unlike what you might think, he’s not the God of Death and he his powers only extend to the control of the Earth. Using this power, he was able to carve the whole Underworld into existence and continues to expand it as needed. The reason he’s forth is because his job is extremely important. As well as looking after the Underworld, he must keep all the souls of the monsters and the ancient Titans locked up in Tartarus, an abyss of great suffering bellow the Underworld. This is why he’s forth.

3) Zues

Yes, Zues, king of the Gods and lord of the sky is not my number one but my number three! A great and powerful God, third because he is ruler of all the others. Controller of the other Gods means controller of all the world! A hard job and definitively deserving of a high spot on my list. Why not number one? Simply because his job is difficult and necessary, but not one he has to do everyday but when he feels like it or another God/Goddess’s actions merit it. In short, I’m calling Zues lazy.

2) Thanatos

Often regarded by Greek mythology but rarely appeared in person, Thanatos is the Greek God of Death. A daemon, who’s the suns light never touches. Often shown in art as a hansom angle, and his nature is described in rhyme as a rage of which none may escape. He is said to hate the Gods which may be true as he has no seat on Olympus and is only seen by other Gods as Hades’s general. He is second because day after day he patrols the boarder between life and death insuring death come to those who need it and life does not go to those trying to cross back from the Underworld. So important is his job, i could not ignore him.

1) Poseidon

God of the sea and lord of all sea creatures, plus the creator of horses from the crest of waves. One of the three original Gods and three original Goddess’s, brother to Zues and Hades. The world is seventy percent water! Do i need say more. Well, i also really appreciate Poseidon because in all stories regarding or suggesting the rivalry between Zues and Hades, he’s always there as a mediator to try and smooth things over. He hates to see the Gods argue, mostly because he’s use to the tranquility of living under the sea in Atlantica. For this peace keeping among the Gods and for keeping the seas and oceans in such good condition, i think Poseidon is the best among the Gods, a role model for the others and my Number 1 Greek God.

That Other Guy

2 thoughts on “Ancient Greek Gods

  1. As a teacher of Classical Civillisation I was very impressed by your post which I found to be highly entertaining. On small criticism, Hera is NOT the Goddess of magic, that title belongs to Hecate and you spelt Zeus wrong. It’s a very common mistake, other than that kudos on a fun little post 🙂


  2. Thankyou very much for the comment. More over, thankyou for reading the post. I love to here from my readers (no, genuinely… i do) and i hope you continue to enjoy the website.

    Kind regards

    That Other Guy


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