Liticaphobia – the fear of lawsuits. I have it. Big time.
Why, I hear you ask? Female lawyers are sexy, right? Well, I fear prison. Maybe not prison. Conviction and lawsuits are the start of that conviction.
That could never be me. He’s got abs… And I rarely joke on Facebook.
But no. I fear prison because I know that if I go there, either I’ll be innocent, or I’ll go down for something massive, like World Domination. Ask Benny – I gave it a half-hearted go.
But no. If I end up in prison, I’ll either end up running the place, or being everyone’s bitch. Neither of those sounds great to me. I mean it. I don’t want to be the guy that everyone fucks in the ass, or the man who fucks everyone else in the ass. They both suck.
I don’t want to go to prison, and I know that any trial involving me will end in my conviction, because I say stupid things under pressure. I could be the prosecution lawyer, and get locked up for something…
So, I stay on the light side of the law. Completely. Not one crime hath this man commiteth. True story.