That Other Guy’s review of: Lord of the Rings The Fellowship of the Ring

Hey guys. That Other guy here to do my review of Fellowship. I am reviewing this as i watch it…. Right Now, so i won’t miss anything, but the review will be long…. very long, and detailed. To save time for you and as a extra, for the first time with me, i will also be recording and uploading videos to youtube as i go so you can watch those as well 🙂 So lets gets started!

Right, on the title screen and ready to go. I will be typing as i go, so i may still miss a few things, but if i pause every time i type something, i’ll be here till next week. Right… Play 🙂

I will be pausing it to do videos though….

Shout out to New Line Cinema. Love the Eleven Language. There are four languages of middle earth. Human, spoke by humans, hobbits and orcks, Drawven, spoke by dwarfs, Elven, spoke by Elves and the black tongue of Mordor. There is all so the language of magic, but this, after the fall of Angamar, is a rare language.

It all began with such a great battle. The Elves look bad-ass. Though it’s a little confusing how Sauron was defeated by simply having his finger cut off. Frodo has his finger bitten off in the end and it doesn’t stop him….

It’s easy to forget that the ring dissapered for a total of 3000 years. Two and a half at the bottom of a river and 500 hidden in the misty mountains with Golem. It is long enough that it would be forgotten. We don’t know exactly what the ancient Egyptians got up to.

That’s the intro over, and now we begin with Bilbo writing the book, that if you read the books, you will have already read. This is a great connection to the story, the Hobbit, and i find it rather amusing that it begins with the writing of the book that i already know the whole story to. Not to mention, how it all comes back round to end with the writing of a story, in the same book, of an adventure more wonderful and dangerous.

Ah, my favorite line. “A wizard is never late Frodo Baggins. Nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to” Gandelf. The amount of times I’ve used this line in some way. This is probably my favorite portrayal of Gandelf, on his fire work cart….

Gandelf is like that cheeky uncle that sneaks you a sweet when your parents aren’t looking. Hobbit dwellings would not suit me; i think i would hit my head a few to many times. I wonder when Bilbo said he wanted to see mountains again, if the ring would have pushed him all the way through Rivendale, down the mountain range and across Rohan to Mordor. He did mean not to return, and if he went to Mordor, he wouldn’t. So it’s deffo a good thing he didn’t keep the ring.

Bilbo Baggins: He went on a journey to the lonly mountain and defeated the dragon there. He then returned to the Shire to be introduced in this movie as a 111 tear old hobbit who’s hiding from Sacwell-Baggin’s for living do long and not giving them the house under the hill. He still wants to see the world, but that’s only really the ring talking.

Only Mary and Pippin would light a huge firework in a tent….

Gandelf: A half god from ancient times. Resurrected in the third age as Gandelf the grey, to continue his great story. He is a brave warrior, a skilled conjurer, wise and powerful; but no where near to the strength he was. His story is such a long one, but in short, you don’t mess with him.

Did Frodo stop for a McDonalds or something…. Why did he arrive at Bagg-end so late? I know he has little legs, but Bilbo has old little legs.

Now this makes no sense, how did Gandelf get to Minus-Tirith so fast? Why didn’t his hourse drop dead? It’s at the boarder of Mordor, according to the story, about a few months gurney away… It makes no sense.

Back in the pub at the shire, i love the songs and Gaffer. Old Gaffer is great for a good story. Though, if i got home, a little drunk and Gandelf jumped out the dark at me looking wild, i would be scared half to death.

The One Ring: Sarons ring. The one ring to rule them all. The one ring to bind them and bring them into the darkness. It wants to return to it’s master and it’s inherently evil, twisting and bending it’s wearers. Though i do wonder why it takes it’s toll so heavily on Frodo as Frodo is taking it directly to where it wants to go, and although it knows Frodo is only taking it there to destroy it, it still doesn’t make sense to near kill him till he gets there, which now i think about it properly, is actually about what it does.

The nine: The nine kings of man, who were the most corruptible of the ring bearers, who are now Sarons personal generals and knights, who fight not only on foot and hourse back but also on dragons. Not to mention there leader, the one who stabs Frodo later, the witch king of the lost kingdom of Angrama. I think this lot are immense.

Saroman is a filthy turn coat! He does make a great villain though. Any villain who can pull of dazzling whites has done immensely well. I love this wizard fight.

Sam: In this movie, he is portrayed as a gardener and a love sick pup. He is straight from the off a lovable character and a the hobbits version of a gentle and lovable lug. He’s not the smartest of hobbits, but he’s friendly and understandable. He’s not a bad cook and a great friend. Right from the start, he’s always looking out for Frodo.

Mary Brandy-Buck: A smart and sensible hobbit who can make plans and understands situations better than any of the others. He is practical and the one who thinks of Buckle Berry ferry. It’s his intelligence that helps him throughout this adventure and keeps him safe.

Peregrin Took: A fool of a Took. He brings shame on the Took family who are upheld in the Shire as the most wise and sensible and trouble free of all the hobbit family’s. Where as he often acts foolishly and is silly, getting into all sorts of trouble. He only stays safe by staying near Mary. He’s not very brave in this one either.

Right, and the gurney really begins, as Strider (Aragon) begins taking the hobbits to Rivendale, and they discuss the problems of second breakfast, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner, supper and all snacks in-between. .

Eco-warriors would hate Saroman for what he did to Isengard…

To think that the hobits at the ruins of the great watchtower of Amunsun risked there lives for a bit of nice crispy bacon. I love how the hobbits put up no resistance to the nine whatsoever. The Hobbits little swords and the hobbits look pathetic; It’s almost comical. Then strider runs in and single handedly fights off ALL OF THEM! And what a throw with the torch to the face…. Ten points to Strider! 🙂

Wow, Isengard has gone from a sun soaked paradise to a smog covered industrial powerhouse of fire and steam over night. If it wasn’t so dark and destructive, it would be impressive. And the Oroki are born…

Elwen: Daughter of the house of Elron and intended ruler of the elves of Rivendale in the next world. A fast rider and a powerful elf with the power of foresight and the magic of her people. Once again seen on the boarder of Rivendale where the nine show there hydrophobia again, though this time, they have a reason, as Elwen summons horses of the river in a surf that wipes them out. She is kind and compassionate. She saves Frodo’s life.

Rivendale does look beautiful in this movie, has to be said. The scouts all so got it bang on the money with the shooting in New Zeland. If only Rivendale was a real place. I may have to try and re-create it in Minecraft.

Frodo and Sam being ready to go home already shows just how big a task that they undertook. All so, how little they originally thought they had to do.

Although middle earth places it’s faith in the race of man, and the remnants of the elves who decided to stay, in truth, it is hobbits who saved middle earth through Frodo and Sam. The other races just fought Mordors armys and created distractions. It was Sam and Frodo who really won the day.

Now we begin one of the substories that runs throughout the movies, which is the love story between Elwen and Aragon. It is a great love story and a one that I’ve never failed to not connect with… I think it’s just me on this one, but i don’t find the love story intresting, entertaining or engaging.

At the forming of the Fellowship, Boromier shows his ignorance to the ring trying to say that he may wield the ring. He all so shows his distain for the Aragon. Gimley shows his simple mindedness and Gandelf shows his power. It’s just a big dick measuring contest…. just like modern international politics. One does not simply make humorous comparisons.

Frodo is the most grown up of all of them, even Gandelf who only gets up to start an argument. Then the fellowship is formed…. Pippin: “Right, where are we going?” 

Now we have found out just who Aragon is and his heritage, and the fact that he doesn’t want his birth right or the power to wield the sword of kings. We begin the sub-story to his assention to the throne of Gondor. A story line i love to watch time and again as he, over time, becomes more and more of a leader and eventually excepts his fate to be king.

Legolass: An elven prince-ling who is amazing with a bow, to rival green arrow and hawkeye! He is a very loyal and trustworthy member of the group.

Gimley: A Dwarven prince-ling, who is very brave and strong but lacks in stamina. He is a very loyal and trustworthy member of the group.

Together…. They have a magic chemistry that makes me laugh and helps me connect on a personal level for the group dynamic as a whole, and not just the individual characters. All so, it’s great to see there evolution from rivals to friends. I find there banter amusing and entertaining. They could have done a spin off as a duo and i would have bought the season box-set!

Now, the paths they could take and which one i would choose:

The gap of Rohan
A straight shot to Mordor through Rohan lies ahead for any who cross the gap. Rohan is a nutural human territory and i believe it was part of Gandelfs plan to set the Horse master of Rohan free from Saroman as he passed through. It is by far the easiest rout to take and should take 40 days west of the misty mountains, then another 20 or so in Rohan till you hit the river that crosses you into the mountainous boarder with Mordor.

A few downsides: 1) The gap of Rohan is right next door to Isenguard, so it will be well scouted and controlled by the enemy. 2) It lends itself to entry to Mordor through the Black gate… Need i say more.

The path of Terrepus
Over a treacherous and often fatal mountain. It can take a few days off your gurney, but is it worth it? All so, this way you can sneak up to Mordor through the marsh, but your still faced with getting past the Black gate.

The Mines of Moria
It is a four day gurney through the mines and if it were in operation, it would be a pleasant gurney. Only with the ever increasing threat of goblins, as mentioned in the green dragon earlier in the movie, and knowing that the bel’roc lay in wait there as well, not to mention a giant squid at the entrance…. Overkill?

I would take the route through the gap of Rohan, simply because it’s the only one that doesn’t scream of suicide! But, you know, when an evil wizard uses crows to spy on you, then tries to collapse a mountain on you, each to there own.

To think Dwaves are so hung up on security, making there walls invisible, that there masters, should they forget there secrets, actually lose there mines. That is worth making fun of. I don’t blame Legolass for that “Why doesn’t that surprise me”.

And now a giant squid is attacking, like there day couldn’t get any worse. Though it is a chance for the guys to show off there skills. The fact that they got stuck in a mine full of Goblins and dead Dwaves is a pretty poor affair, then they realize there being followed by Golam. And Gandelf forgot the way… could this day get any worse for them?

Oh wait, yes it can. After finding Bali dead, the fool of the took attracts the Goblins to them and they have a cave troll! Kind of a fml moment….

This is the first battle of the fellowship, and it’s here we see all there true bravery, but especially Sam’s. We all so see all there skills, but especially Legolass’s and all there strength, but especially Aragon’s and Gimleys. Only Sam could use a frying pan in a full blown fight and still say, “I think i’m getting the hang of this”…. lols!

In fact, actually thinking about it, now Frodo’s been stabbed by the cave troll, he’s the one hobbit of the four who never gets the hang of fighting. You know, i don’t think he kills a single orc or goblin in all three movies and he only struggles with Golam, both when they meet and at the end.

The Bel’roc looks so good in this collectors edition. You can really make out it’s shape and you can feel the evil emanating from it. It is here we see Gandelfs true power, although it does end with him falling to his death. The loss of Gandelf is a sever blow to the fellowship as they have not just lost a talented wizard and fellow companion, but they have lost a respected leader and close friend. I genuinely feel sad at this point and wish they had stopped to grieve, but it made no sense to do so.

Now were at the giant tree i talked about. It does look elegant but i actually prefer Rivendale myself. Once again, the CGI is worth a mention. It’s brilliant.

Right guys and girls, it’s getting pretty late now and i’m very tired, so i will do no more videos till the end, i will instead just review.

It is where we are now in the forest that we start to feel for Boromires character. We see how much he loves his people when he’s proud to speak of Gondor and crys at the mere thought of it’s downfall. We realize he is compassionate and thoughtful as well as strong and courageous.

At the mirror where Frodo see’s the downfall of the Shire. The enslavement of his people and the burning of all he holds dear. It is here that Galadria decides, using the horrible power of the ring, that we see in full force for the first time, whether to stay in middle earth and diminish or go to the West and remain Galadria.

The Oroki of the white hand of Saroman are on the move and vicious, blood thirsty and flesh hungry.

Ahh, the giving off the gifts. Lamas bread, one small bite is enough to fill the stomach of a grown man. Aragon got an elven dagger. Legolass got a bow of Galadria. Mary and Pippin got daggers, Sam got Elven rope and Gimley got three locks of her golden hair. And Frodo got the light of Elindile.

Personally, i agree with Sam and would want one of those “nice shiny daggers”.

Anyway, traveling down river, racing against Oroki, they better keep the pace up…..

They’ve just entered the kingdom of man and i’m not sure weather the statues of the two kings are real or CGI. I genuinely don’t know. Only here is where we lose all sympathy for Boromire. Despite the fact that it was the ring twisting his mind and nothing else. I thing i don’t get though is why this then makes Frodo distrust everyone in the fellowship and want to go off on his own. I know betrayal from within can make you almost paranoid, but he still doesn’t have to go on his own… That doesn’t make sense to me. Still made for a better, in depth and more rounded story.

I have got to admite the Oroki leader is an orc on steroids! He is far too hard to kill. I mean Aragon cut him arm off and ran him through, only to have the guy pull himself down Aragons sword and growl at him. I mean seriously!

At Boromires death, Aragon and him really connect, for the first time, and that is sad and makes me again feel for Boromire and it’s only here you realise just how good a character he is…. far too late. Aragon actually cries…. you know. It’s a very emotional departure for a character i didn’t even feel that close to until about two minuets ago.

Anyway, Frodo and Sam go off on there own and Gimley, Aragon and Legolass go after Mary and Pippin. It’s almost unbelivavble the trust Sam has for Frodo, trusting him with his life when he tries to swim out to his boat, even though he can’t swim, all to keep his promise never to leave Frodo that he made to Gandelf.

It’s true that the Fellowship does fail, but hope is not lost and shit hasn’t entirely hit the fan. There is still a plan, of sorts and hopefully, things will get better….


That Other Guy

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