I’m not sure many of you know of the superb Channel 5 documentary series, Born to Kill, which aims to psychologically profile various infamous serial killers from North America and Great Britain, but I think it would be fair to say that I am somewhat obsessed with it. The series is brilliantly made, simply every facet of it is pitch perfect; the music, the interviewees, the analysis, the explanation of the facts, all of it is just brilliant, I cannot gush about it enough. It also helps that I find the subject matter interesting, I can’t help but admit to a grim and macabre fascination with the psychology of people that commit such horrific acts as serial murder and I think that many of you, should you think about it, will agree with me. However, this post is not a typical review, but an attack on Channel 5 and Two Four Television Productions.
Despite the fact that Born to Kill is arguably one of my favorite documentary series ever I have not seen every episode. In fact, I have probably only seen around two-thirds of the series. Why? Well, let me try to explain. Not all of the episodes were broadcast in Britain, in fact, I’ve found four or five episodes that are only available on Youtube and in German. Actually, that’s not strictly true, I have found a DVD collection on Amazon with 3 episodes including the Charles Starkweather one which looks like it’s in English but even then that solves my problem about as well as trying to tame a cocaine addled lion with nothing but a Biro and half a twix because it’s only one episode and I’d have to pay for two other episodes that I can find online. It would make more sense to have a complete series boxset instead of releasing a small percentage of them onto DVD, three at a time.
Once again, Christopher Hitchens has just about summed it up…
Just as in life, however, things inevitably get worse. Apparently there are other Born to Kill episodes than the English ones I’ve seen at home and the German ones I’ve attempted to decipher for a solid 15 minutes before being made aware of my subconscious screaming as the last glimpse of my already fragile sanity slips below the horizon of my tender, wittle psyche. Twisted seems to be the Australian version of Born to Kill, after all it has the same opening credits and the same general format but the title and narrator are both different. I couldn’t find any record of Twisted online, although I didn’t look particularly hard and gave up after a cursory scan of Amazon yielded little but a handful of bad slasher movies and a children’s documentary on Queen Mary I. So now I have three different series, each focusing on different sets of serial killers. “So?” I hear you cry in my head alongside the other, slightly more toxic voices in my head, “Why are you bothering us with this?”. Well, the answer to that is simple; because I can and because I write for a site that once posted a horrifically indepth analysis of jerking off.
It’s here and you disgust me
I did make some effort to answer the questions posed here and find some solution to my incredibly simple woes. Emails were sent to both Channel 5 and Two Four Television Productions listing my issues with the availability of several of the episodes but I was never given a reply. Suffice to say, this irked me somewhat, especially seeing as I opened the email by giving the series an immense amount of praise, and I resolved to try again some months later. The fact that I’m writing this ought to tell you that, once again, I was not given a reply. Tonight I shall send another email, complete with a link to this post, asking for a solution and maybe, just maybe, I will get a reply. Or they’ll ignore me again and I shall force my tedious, little problems on you poor bastards again.