Spectre (2015)

Hello everyone. I’m ba… you know I’ve done to many of these…. Not reviews, obviously but i’m back speeches so fuck it! I’m here now, and isn’t that what matters, right?…. So anyway, back onto my usual style. A totally pointless and unrelated rant as an intro followed by a review, but no hollow promises this time! I realize that i am reliably unreliable so, i won’t be makeing any promises of future reviews or schedules, of any sort, at all. In fact i may fuck off again after this, and it’s not because i don’t want to review but because i’m so busy living (read my team bio) that this sometimes gets sidelined; sorry x

So, the latest addition to the James Bond 007 league of immensely brilliant, popular and utterly entertaining movies! Actually, i’m not a fan, at least not in the fanatical sense, but give me a sexy, sarcastic super spy with a licence to kill and a brilliant megalomaniac with a lust for lasers and world domination; you could never say these movies didn’t try.

Now James Bond as we all know is an act that’s changed hats as often as a cautious swinger changes condoms, but much like a certain geriatric time traveler, the act has aged well, most noticeably in this incarnation played by the soon to be silver fox Daniel Craig who cleverly with the timeline plays a more ageing and tired James Bond. The decision to make James appear and feel older in Craig’s movies is a very clever direction and gives Bond a more human feel than the last few actors could.

For example in Spectre he has trouble keeping up with Q, played as the perfect introverted adolescent by Ben Wishaw, and Bond is fighting against an enemy who is using all technology possible to control the world from within a board room desperately in need of a home-base lighting showroom attendant. All tech including that used by the worlds intelligence agencies. Basiclly the entire movie is a metephore for old feild working spys with guns and gadgets (aka: the 00 program) against the spy network of cameras and surveillance and the super computers and programming geniuses who create and manage the cyber-‘crime catching’-net of the 21st century.  And whats more, i think they pulled it off. It’s a really strong contrast between the world that the cold war was fought in and the world of today. Chances are an internal war has probably already been fought within this country’s government about this very sort of thing and the truth is:

Spy of yesterday 
Spy of now


This dated look at Bond is not new, by far, but it is Craig’s signature Bond so I’ve been enjoying the brooding old man act for a while. It’s very engaging to feel the pain of Bonds losses in life, his regrets and know that he’s not truly happy. It makes for a very dramatic performance,  but with drama comes the serious side of Bond. This has been my only problem with Daniel Craig’s Bond. there’s no sarcasm, not wit, no humor; and i feel that has allowed the character to lose some of it’s charm and the movies have suffered in my opinion from this dramatist persona in kind, losing some of that pure gold entertainment that all those oldies have in bucket loads. So i was so thankful in this one when Craig turned on the humor! The witty gentleman spy has truly returned in this movie and i thoroughly enjoyed it. Sharper than an assassins blade and twice as piercing, the gags were well timed, genuinely funny and… entertaining. All so it turned Bond away from the very serious story line and performance that was the master piece of Skyfall. I think every James Bond fan was traveling to there local picture houses, Odions or Showcases with everything crossed, sealed in tape and glue that this movie was not going to be a copy of Skyfall or even step on it’s toes in anyway, and other than a video message from Dame Judi Dench, i’m thoroughly pleased to report that it didn’t! That would have been a sure fire way to ruin this movie but by steering well clear of it with the usage of a metaphor, humor and action sequences, they succeeded in making sure the movie didn’t suck balls.

Now that’s not to say it was an outright success. I may be blowing a mighty proud sounding trumpet here but there were some bum notes. The biggest by far was the direction. Samuel ‘Sam’ Mendes CBE, is best known for the comendy-drama American Beauty which is why i imagine the comedy in Spectre came off so well. He made the brave and intelligent decision to make Spectre a retrospective Bond verses modern society feature, which in all fairness, he pulled off, with bells on. Only he did screw up on the story and action sequences. The story feels totally disconnected. It’s a great movie but any scene could be taken out of context and played and it would make sense on it’s own. You could rearage some of the scenes into different orders and it would still work. There is very little overlying story that actually holds the whole lot together. It feels like when your watching it you could actually hear ‘Sam’ saying, “Okay, now Bond does this” “Okay, Bond now does this”. Honestly half the movie, it seems like there’s no reason or why to anything happening in it.

Now the actual action sequences themselves, another hand clap to Mr Mendes for deciding to use live action instead of CGI. I think CGI is overused in Movies today as well, but there is a reason it’s overused and that is because it fucking works and it looks really good. The action sequences in this movie were cinematic-ally amazing, but the lack of CGI meant that some of the stunts looked like they could be from a movie made 20 or 30 years ago. If he had used CGI to touch up a few details, edit out some imperfections and  just generally tidy up the shots, it would have made the whole thing so much better. I’m not about to say the movie felt to old, cause there is nothing wrong with older movies. Watched Friday 13 from 1979, still scared the Shit outta me! It’s just that a little modern touch in the editing would have gone a long way.

So the movie suffered from what felt like a plot made up of distant relatives, all parts connected in some way but sometimes vague or hard to see why and a dated, yet still effective approach to action. The minor action bumps can be overlooked by Daniel Craig and Ben Wishaw’s  star performances. The major issue of the plot though is un-ignore-able, once noticed in the movie quite literally, and will cost the movie in its’s final score. I would highly recommend watching it unless you’re in the Aston Martin owners club and cry uncontrollably when a perfectly great car is destroyed by this miscreant spy! I just don’t feel it’s a 10 or a 9 for me… so:


That Other Guy


3 thoughts on “Spectre (2015)

  1. There is a beauty in being concise. Good review indeed. i like that we disagree on the strength of proformances (Everyone to their own), but i’m glad wee agree on the whole that is was a good movie, not great 🙂


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