Cardi B – Bodak Yellow


Bodak Yellow is not a colour that I am overly familiar with, though that said, I learnt yesterday that apparently there’s a peachy colour named “papaya smoothie”, so maybe I’m not the best person to review this one…

Isn’t Bodak Yellow the one that those raincoats are made of?

Immediately, we are presented with a bland and overly produced piece of “music”. Throw her, apparently, trademark determination to use every swear word in existence and you’ve got a song that more than 392 million people have listened to on Spotify alone. And that’s before the almost-certain remixes.

It’s not my cup of tea. I don’t enjoy it at all. Don’t get me wrong, there is something a bit endearing about lines such as…

My pussy feel like a lake
He wanna swim with his face
I’m like okay

Which, is, you know, a level of confidence that people just don’t seem to have these days. Well, some people do, but they tend to be assholes, and whilst I’m not convinced that she’s not an asshole, at least we know that’s not the orifice that she’s getting attention for.

The whole song is one big “I’ve got a massive dick” declaration, much like the nuclear missile crisis in North Korea and the Trump response. It’s completely unnecessary – I for one never question the size of someone else’s dick, and feel that’s a matter for themselves, their partners, and occasionally their medical professional.

4/10

That Guy

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