When you think of friends, you think of loyal, supportive, loving and reliable people, right? At what point does that friendship become untenable due to the reliability exhibited?
Dear Co-Workers and readers,
As many of you probably know, today is my last day. But before I leave, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure it has been to type “Today is my last day.”
For nearly as long as I’ve worked here, I’ve hoped that I might one day leave this company. And now that this dream has become a reality, please know that I could not have reached this goal without your unending lack of support. Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you did not express.
I would especially like to thank all of my managers: in an age where miscommunication is all too common, you consistently impressed and inspired me with the sheer magnitude of your misinformation. It takes a strong man to admit his mistake – it takes a stronger man to attribute his mistake to me.
Over the past year, you have taught me more than I could ever ask for and, in most cases, ever did ask for. I have been fortunate enough to work with some absolutely interchangeable supervisors on a wide variety of seemingly identical projects – an invaluable lesson in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium.
And to most of my peers: even though we barely acknowledged each other within these ‘office walls’, I hope that in the future, should we pass on the street, you will regard me the same way as I regard you: sans eye contact.
But to those few souls with whom I’ve actually interacted, here are my personalized notes of farewell:
To ThatGuy: I will miss detecting your flatulence as much as you will clearly miss calling me to deliver it.
To ThatGirl: You were right – I tested positive. We’ll talk later…
To ThatOtherGuy: I… don’t remember your name?
and finally, To Benny: Your never-ending ‘voice of reason’ bores me. This, is your fault.
So, in parting, if I could pass on any word of advice to the individual who will soon be filling my position, it would be to cherish this experience like a sponge and soak it up like a good woman, because a job opportunity like this comes along only once in a lifetime.
Meaning: if I had to work here, with this staff, again in this lifetime, I would sooner kill myself.
I thank you all for wasting your working day reading my shit, I appreciate it.
Very truly no-longer yours,
P.s. ThatGuy and ThatGirl are wonderful people and I would gladly work with both of them again 😉
It’s Christmas Time… there’s no need to be afraid…. (to click on more!)
They say, that the hardest kind of love, is the kind where the other person no longer loves you back..
I’ve just taken this quiz over at Sprocle and I tell you something, “Challenge” is indeed the right word!
So That Guy started reviewing life? Its too big for just one post…
Check out my view on it. Go on. Go on…. Go wan go wan go wan (Thats a Father Ted funny, fyi xD)